Although perfectionism can seem like a good thing, students with perfectionist tendencies can struggle with exhaustion, poor self-esteem, and unhealthy habits related to school/life balance.
Guest expert Ann Marie Dobosz sheds insight into how perfectionist students can transform their perfectionism into healthy striving instead.
Tune in to hear more about:
What perfectionism is and isn’t
What the underly beliefs are that provide the root of perfectionism
What behaviors in teens are signs of unhealthy perfectionism, and
What teens and parents can do about perfectionist tendencies, including when to address the behaviors versus the underlying beliefs
Ann Marie Dobosz is a psychotherapist and writer in San Francisco. Her book, The Perfectionism Workbook for Teens: Activities to Help You Reduce Anxiety and Get Things Done, was published last year by New Harbinger. She specializes in helping people who are really hard on themselves feel calm, happy, and “good enough.” She works with adults and adolescents who struggle with mental health issues that arise from perfectionism and self-criticism, including anxiety, depression, obsessive thinking and compulsive behaviors. You can find more about her at www.annmarietherapy.com, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.
Do you ever feel lost or stressed when it comes time to start studying for final exams?
I know a lot of my clients have over the years, and so I wanted to share with you all my favorite technique for how to organize your final exam study plan.
Don’t have time for the full video? No worries, I’ve got your back with this summary:
In this video, I show you my favorite way to organize how to study for final exams and get it all on one page. And this, especially when you have multiple final exams, is very important as you have a LOT of details you have to prepare. So to start, you want to start about 3 weeks out, even if you haven’t received all your information for the final exams, and draw out on a sheet of paper a calendar as seen below.
Basically, you want to start out with a blank sheet of paper or white board, and then draw a table that has 7 columns and 3 rows (or more or less depending on how many weeks out your finals are. Then above each column put the day, and I like to start on Mondays and have the weekends grouped together. Then we want to number the days, so Monday the 1st, Tuesday the 2nd, etc. Next, on the final week we want to put in when our final exams are, so if you are in high school you likely have 2 exams a day and it might look something like above, with English and History on Monday, Math on Tuesday, Science on Wednesday, etc. Then in the weeks prior we plan out what we are going to do to study. In the example above I said that on Tuesday we’d study English with 10 flash cards, math on Wednesday with 10 flash cards, and then take a math sample text on Thursday. And my final tip is to leave Friday’s empty that way you can really focus your studying on the weekends when you have free time and give yourself Friday afternoon’s off; because let’s be honest, no one wants to do anything on Friday afternoon.
You’ve got questions, and we’ve got answers! Join us as we discuss the following questions:
Summer Programs for College Prep: We are looking at the Stanford University “High School Summer College” program for our son. The classes are interesting, and it looks like a good experience. My question is will this help him get into Stanford or other similar schools when he is a senior?
When Teachers Give Incomplete Study Guides: What do you do if your teacher doesn’t list some facts/ideas on the study guide but does put those questions on the test? How do you study?
Apps for Vocab Improvement: I’m wondering if you know of any apps or programs that would help a high school student develop a deeper understanding of words… I imagine through word study including roots, prefixes, and suffixes. I have some old=school tools but would like to give her something a little more user-friendly for working on at home. Ideas?
Singing to Music When Studying: I’ve heard you say that it’s ok to listen to music while studying, but what about if you are singing along with that music? Can you really concentrate and use your full brain if you are singing while doing your homework?
What’s Wrong With My College Application? My son is completing his 12th grade and has applied to several good universities. He did his 9th and 10th from a school in India and will graduate from high school in Texas. He scores A*s in all subjects. His current GPA is 4.1. He scored 800 in SAT Math and 760 in English. He plays guitar, is a black belt in Karate and knows multiple languages- English, French, German, Hindi. With all these qualifications he is still not getting selected by Universities. Why? What is missing for him? How can we supplement his existing applications in other universities? Can we appeal?
Tina Kruse is an Educational Psychologist (Ph.D.) with 15 years of experience teaching undergraduates. Her research is on the benefits of youth leadership experiences, with a forthcoming book on this topic (Oxford University Press, 2018). In addition to her long-term teaching and advising at a liberal arts college (Macalester College in St. Paul MN), she also offers private, one-on-one academic coaching to students ranging from high-school to graduate school. Recently she’s been charged with starting a campus-wide plan to support her college’s students to integrate better their learning settings–helping them connect the classroom efforts with their off-campus experiences such as internships and study abroad. You can find out more about Tina’s work at www.tinakruse.com.
Please Note: In this podcast recording Tina Kruse is representing her work as described at www.tinakruse.com and is not representing Macalester College.
Does your heart sink when you notice that the essay prompt asks you to find the “theme” or the “purpose” of the book you’re reading? Do you often think to yourself, “I have no idea!!” and then BS your way through the essay?
Well, I have a hint for you! Of course, the best line of defense is to listen during discussions in class, take good notes, and also talk to your teacher. But if none of that helps, this trick will take you the rest of the way. And who knows, maybe what feels like BS might be pretty smart stuff after all!?
Hey there, don’t have time for the full video? No worries, I’ve got your back, here’s a summary:
I received an email earlier this week from a senior in high school that was having a difficult time with a prompt she received in an AP English class. She needed to find the purpose of a novel so she could write an essay about it. Another way we can look at this is: What is the theme, or meaning, of the novel?
So I wanted to give you all a little trick I use with my clients. See when I’m coaching I have very little time to help a student push through work on their essay, so I have to make quick decisions how to help a student find the theme or purpose of a book when I haven’t read it myself. As such I’ve developed a bit of a trick. I like to use a list from the Center for NonViolent Communication that’s called the Needs Inventory.
What I have found is that it can be really helpful to look over this list with a student and ask, “What are the universal needs that are represented by the characters in this book?” For example, is there a need for order because things are really chaotic, and the characters are trying to create order but it’s really hard. I’ve found that students can pretty easily find 1, 2, or 3 needs that are really active in the book, and then find concrete evidence why those needs are a big deal in the book and how it plays out for the characters. Then you can use this to write an essay about how the theme or purpose of the book was about “insert universal need here”.
Attending a National College Fair with your high school student? We recently heard from a listener who had some questions about how to make the most of her National College Fair visit with her son. Here’s her email:
My son is attending a National College Fair coming up in mid-March. Do you have any strategies or ideas for best practices when attending a fair like this? There will be over 180 different colleges there from all over the country, so any suggestions on how to maximize time would be great.
Also, we have never attended a fair of this size before — can you give some suggestions for the role of a parent (hang back, listen, stay at the coffee shop?) and also some etiquette/protocol suggestions for the student. For example, how much time should they spend with a college booth, are their ways to be memorable for a student with a recruiter, if it’s a college they really love, should there be additional strategies to employ and should we leave anything with a recruiter like a resume or business card or is that too much?
Hey there, do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by how much there is to do at school? Does it feel impossible to do it all alone?
This is a video I made last summer, but it’s just as relevant as ever. I’ve seen TOO MANY of my clients buckle under the stress of thinking they have to do school by themselves. That your work doesn’t count unless you accomplish it all by yourself.
This is a destructive myth! And it’s unrealistic, too. Watch the video to hear more.
Hey there, don’t have time to watch the whole video? Don’t worry; I’ve got your back, here’s a summary.
One of the biggest and most DESTRUCTIVE myths in our education system is that people must do everything themselves. I have a friend and client who’s a grad student, and she’s doing a presentation on some research she did in a recent class. We were talking, and she said, “I’ve been discouraged, though, (she was sick the previous week) since I fell so far behind, but this morning I met with a profession on campus who gave me lots of great ideas and feedback I want to incorporate. […] I get overwhelmed at how to incorporate and communicate all my ideas. […] I’m glad this woman was a resource that I could use, though. Basically, I can’t write these alone, which is kind of discouraging, but good to know.”
She was feeling discouraged that she couldn’t do it alone, but that’s the myth. Think about this: Professors have their undergrads helping them, researchers have their teams, and authors have editors. If the professionals have assistance, why should students feel they must work alone? As I told her, you don’t have to. Don’t fall prey to this destructive myth. You can always ask your professors, or teachers, or parents, or friends for some help. You can revel in the community, and enjoy the help and insight of a team of people rooting for you as the spokesperson for your ideas.
It’s another Q&A Show! Here are the questions that we tackle in this episode:
1. Weird Mistakes in Math. My math teacher is a little confusing, which gets me doing weird things that complicate matters on simple problems. Mom thinks it could be that I’m making it complicated in my head, and I can see that, but I don’t know exactly. Thanks for the offer, and I think I’ll try it, ~ Ella, Middle School Student
2. Gap Years and Scholarships. I have been a fan for years and really appreciate your podcast. My daughter is a senior, and she was accepted to her highly selective Early Action school, so things are looking good and the pressure is off! Now we’re waiting for the other schools to respond from the regular decision round. My question is about applying for scholarships when you are planning to take a gap year. My daughter has not told any of her schools that she is planning to take a gap year, but she will ask the ones that she is deciding between if it’s OK after she has all of her acceptances. We already know that the Early Action school is a very pro-gap year and I think the others will be fine with it too, they’re all private liberal arts schools. As she’s been looking into scholarships, she has found that they all apply to students who are going to start college this fall. So, if she applied and received one of these scholarships, would she then have to tell them she’s taking a gap year and then have to re-apply for it next year? If so, there’s no point in going through that, and maybe she should just wait to apply for scholarships next year.
3. Distraction When Studying. I got distracted every time I sit to study. I need some suggestions. ~Aish
4. Sports Communication. I have heard you mention in 2 previous podcasts that you have a student you are working with that is interested in Sports Communication. My son Sam is a junior, and he is interested in Communication, sports or political journalism or broadcasting, and we are also in Texas. He is homeschooled, and we do not have a high school counselor. I would love to know any helpful information you have found for this student and what this field looks like regarding universities, especially in Texas.
Did you know that there are more college admissions tests than just the ACT and SAT?
Some of these replace the ACT/SAT, and some of them are required in addition to these tests. During this episode, Megan walks us through all the lesser known college admissions tests.
Did you know that you can save more than $20K a year by going to Canadian Universities, as compared to American ones?
There are many other reasons why American students might want to consider Canadian universities. Join us as guest expert Whitney Laughlin, Ed.D maps out the reasons why you ought to consider Canada for higher education.
Differences and similarities between the Canadian and American university systems
8+ reasons benefits to choosing a Canadian university over an American one
4 reasons why you might NOT want to consider a Canadian university
Whitney Laughlin, Ed. D is an independent college consultant who works with families to choose the perfect college for them in either Canada or the United States. Check out her website to find out more about her college and career counseling services, workshops, and nonprofit consulting work.
When parents and students are afraid of their college prospects, they’re more susceptible to scams that prey on this fear.
In today’s climate of expensive schools that seem increasingly competitive, this fear and susceptibility can be a problem for families. During this episode, Megan helps us identify:
what is a scam versus what is a legitimate opportunity
the top five kinds of scams you should be on the look out for, and
questions to ask yourself to make sure you’re not spending money on a scam
Teens and parents! What will you do this summer to have experiences that are both meaningful and impress colleges on your applications? Looking for free and low-cost solutions?
Now is the time to start planning. We know it seems super early, but the truth is that many of these opportunities have application deadlines mid-semester. We don’t want you to miss out just because you put off planning.
Here are the 5 types of experiences that Megan suggests students and parents consider; tune into the episode to hear details about how to find each of them:
Subject-specific camps at colleges and universities
Hands on work in the field of study that interests the student most
“Big” volunteer experiences that meet or exceed 80 hours a week
Junior year it’s time to start compiling your list of colleges.
However, how can you tell if your grades are high enough to be considered by the schools on your list?
Megan introduces us to a cool online tool that provides a host of valuable information about what schools you qualify for and why. During this episode, she walks us through this corner of the College Board’s website, showing you how to use their data to build your college list, including:
Graduation Rates
% Admitted
Class Rank of Admitted Students
SAT / ACT of Admitted Students
(nice to know) What that school finds important in evaluating applications.
Your goal in using this website is to have an honest, fact-based idea about the admissions process at each school, as well as to build a list of colleges that will result in multiple admissions and allow you some choice about where you want to go.
What’s the first thing you do when a teacher gives a new assignment — especially something big, like a paper or project?
Thanks to their work with me, many of my clients are getting good at writing the due date in the planner (on the day it’s due, by the way, NOT the day it’s assigned).
However, a few of them are still making THIS mistake, which causes them a lot of stress in the long run.
Check out this video for more details about what not to do, or read the summary below!
For those who don’t quite have the time to watch the whole video, I’ve got your back. Here’s a quick summary:
My Client’s Problem: My client almost made a horrible mistake. He was telling me about how he had an essay to write over the weekend and how it wasn’t a big deal. I asked him about the prompt and he said, “Oh I haven’t read it yet.”
Our Solution: I made him read the prompt right there in our session together. It turns out that this assignment was not an essay, as my client had thought, but rather a short research assignment that included talking to several students on campus and taking a poll. Had he waited until the weekend before the due date to read the prompt, he may not have had the time or capability to finish this new assignment. The tip here is that for every new assignment you get, always read them when you get them. This will save you a lot of academic headaches!
This week on the College Prep Podcast with Gretchen Wegner and her co-host Megan Dorsey:
Thanksgiving is coming up soon, as are the winter holidays.
If you get started studying for finals now (or over the winter holidays, if your finals aren’t until the end of January), you’ll save yourself a lot of headaches later — plus, you’ll learn the information better! Today Gretchen shares:
How to put in more effort to studying without feeling like you’re working too hard
The importance of testing yourself using “spaced retrieval”, and a few simple ways to do this over the holidays
How to get yourself organized so you don’t waste time later finding important study tools
A crucial tip for how to use your notes so that you’re actually learning (rather than just faking it)
This week on the College Prep Podcast with Gretchen Wegner and her co-host Megan Dorsey:
Do you know what a “personal brand” is? Any idea why learning how to be a good storyteller is an essential 21st-century skill that students should develop in college?
Guest expert (and recent college grad) Brian Robben shares insightful tips on “how to college” such that you score excellent grades, have fun, and set yourself up to get the job of your dreams.
Specifically, Brian, Megan, and Gretchen chat about:
What a personal brand is, and how to establish one as early as high school
The most obvious things that most students DON’T do, and how this could change their college game,
How to choose paid work in college that will actually help you further your career AND provide spending money, and
A number of other helpful ways for a student to “do college” in a way that will set them up for career success.
Brian Robben graduated summa cum laude from Miami University in 2015. While at college, he started the popular blog TakeYourSuccess.com and went on to write three Amazon bestselling books on college success, resume and interview mastery, and financial freedom. Here’s the link to his books, and here is how you can follow Brian on Instagram and Twitter.
I’m excited to share with you a handy tool for college students.
This was taught to me by a real live student (shout out to Harrison!). He is a sophomore in college and interned with me over the summer.
I LOVE this tool that he makes for himself, and I wanted to share it with you all — including a tweak or two that I’d make to it.
Check out the video, and then PLEASE forward it to any college students you know could benefit from this handy little one-page organizational tool.
For more time management and study solutions for students, parents and educators, please sign up for the Anti-Boring Approach to Successful Studying CourseHERE
Budgeting is a skill that many adults don’t have! However, it’s a super important skill to teach your students before they go off to college.
When parents and students are afraid of their college prospects, they’re more susceptible to scams that prey on this fear.
